Hi,
I am new here. I am not totally up on all the lingo, but I am picking up slowly. My hubby and I are foster parents to one 13-year-old little boy. I have to admit that I found this place out of desperation. He has been with us for 10 months now.
Our foster son has pushed us so hard. We had a ton of problems with him last year in school. He always claimed to be being bullied, but when investigated it is often found out the he usually started the problem. He intentionally annoys us, other students, and teachers. His social skills are low. He often plays with children much younger than himself. He hits other kids. He took one kids glasses off and threw them and broke the kids bracelet.
He has already been suspended from school twice this year and they just started at school a month ago. Both suspensions were for something new (something that was never reported to us before). He is sexually harassing girls. He is making groaning sex noises, rubbing on his crotch and asking girls if they want to see it.
He is disrespectful at home. He slams doors, breaks things, and yells. He has broken 4 pairs of eyeglasses since in the last six month, usually when he is not getting his way with something. He lies all the time.
He does not have a learning disability; they just think that he is behind academically because of neglect. He regularly lies about what homework he has or just flat out refuses to do it.
We have him on a behavior modification system recommended by the doctor who did his learning evaluation. He is on a chip system. He earns chips with which he can buy privileges (TV, Gameboy, etc.). When he acts out, he loses chips.
He throws temper tantrums. He destroys his room. He scratches himself till he bleeds, he falls intentionally. He used to hit himself a lot when he first came to live with us. That is one of the behaviors that I havent seen lately, although now we just ignore the tantrums and he has them in his room. So, he may be hitting himself in his room. Not sure.
You cant touch this child in normal ways because it hurts him. I gave him a good hug the other day and he acted like I wheezed him to death. We dont wrestler or horseplay with him at all because he will complain that we hurt him even though he barely touched him.
He gets very jealous when we have friends or relative around. He acts out and gets jealous even when I talk to my hairdresser.
He is quite charming and sweet to be around when you first get to know him. He is excessively willing to please. He will neck his neck to get something for you (as long as it is want he WANTS to do).
His social worker thought he was an angel. When we complained enough times about the problems we were having with him, she finally came over to help him with his homework. He threw a tantrum while she was there, threw himself on the floor, threw his books on the floor and basically acted like a two year old. She walked out, called me outside and told me I was a saint for putting up with him. Having her say that made me feel half way sane. At least I knew at that point that it wasnt just us.
Anyway, we are tired. He has been in one on one talk therapy since the beginning of summer. He is diagnosed with ODD, anxiety and major depression.
We had him in Kung Fu to help build his self esteem and confidence, but we had to take him out of it because we were sending so much time trying to deal with school problems/therapy/behavior issues that we no longer have time to bring him.
We are at a loss as to what to do. Everyday gets harder and harder. I think a lot of the time that residential treatment would be better for him. I dont know. The other day when I talked to his social worker, she recommended a team sport at school might be helpful, but the school wont let him participate in anything because his grades are too low. We are currently working with the school on a behavior modification plan there too. He is seeing the school counselor to help him work on social skills. He is seeing a therapist once a week. I dont know what else to do.
He explained to me the other day that he wished he had magic so he can start all over again. I told him that he doesnt need magic to start all over again. He said that if he had magic he could erase everyones memory and he would be smarter than them again.
HELP, PLEASE.
I am new here. I am not totally up on all the lingo, but I am picking up slowly. My hubby and I are foster parents to one 13-year-old little boy. I have to admit that I found this place out of desperation. He has been with us for 10 months now.
Our foster son has pushed us so hard. We had a ton of problems with him last year in school. He always claimed to be being bullied, but when investigated it is often found out the he usually started the problem. He intentionally annoys us, other students, and teachers. His social skills are low. He often plays with children much younger than himself. He hits other kids. He took one kids glasses off and threw them and broke the kids bracelet.
He has already been suspended from school twice this year and they just started at school a month ago. Both suspensions were for something new (something that was never reported to us before). He is sexually harassing girls. He is making groaning sex noises, rubbing on his crotch and asking girls if they want to see it.
He is disrespectful at home. He slams doors, breaks things, and yells. He has broken 4 pairs of eyeglasses since in the last six month, usually when he is not getting his way with something. He lies all the time.
He does not have a learning disability; they just think that he is behind academically because of neglect. He regularly lies about what homework he has or just flat out refuses to do it.
We have him on a behavior modification system recommended by the doctor who did his learning evaluation. He is on a chip system. He earns chips with which he can buy privileges (TV, Gameboy, etc.). When he acts out, he loses chips.
He throws temper tantrums. He destroys his room. He scratches himself till he bleeds, he falls intentionally. He used to hit himself a lot when he first came to live with us. That is one of the behaviors that I havent seen lately, although now we just ignore the tantrums and he has them in his room. So, he may be hitting himself in his room. Not sure.
You cant touch this child in normal ways because it hurts him. I gave him a good hug the other day and he acted like I wheezed him to death. We dont wrestler or horseplay with him at all because he will complain that we hurt him even though he barely touched him.
He gets very jealous when we have friends or relative around. He acts out and gets jealous even when I talk to my hairdresser.
He is quite charming and sweet to be around when you first get to know him. He is excessively willing to please. He will neck his neck to get something for you (as long as it is want he WANTS to do).
His social worker thought he was an angel. When we complained enough times about the problems we were having with him, she finally came over to help him with his homework. He threw a tantrum while she was there, threw himself on the floor, threw his books on the floor and basically acted like a two year old. She walked out, called me outside and told me I was a saint for putting up with him. Having her say that made me feel half way sane. At least I knew at that point that it wasnt just us.
Anyway, we are tired. He has been in one on one talk therapy since the beginning of summer. He is diagnosed with ODD, anxiety and major depression.
We had him in Kung Fu to help build his self esteem and confidence, but we had to take him out of it because we were sending so much time trying to deal with school problems/therapy/behavior issues that we no longer have time to bring him.
We are at a loss as to what to do. Everyday gets harder and harder. I think a lot of the time that residential treatment would be better for him. I dont know. The other day when I talked to his social worker, she recommended a team sport at school might be helpful, but the school wont let him participate in anything because his grades are too low. We are currently working with the school on a behavior modification plan there too. He is seeing the school counselor to help him work on social skills. He is seeing a therapist once a week. I dont know what else to do.
He explained to me the other day that he wished he had magic so he can start all over again. I told him that he doesnt need magic to start all over again. He said that if he had magic he could erase everyones memory and he would be smarter than them again.
HELP, PLEASE.
Best wishes to you.
