I am a single (recently divorced) mother of four adolescents. A brief background, my ex and I adopted a sibling group of four from Lithuania 11 years ago. They were my daughter,7(now 1
,and three sons,2,3,and 4 (now 13, 14 and 15). Six years ago my daughter disclosed that my ex had been sexually assaulting her. We separated immediately and later divorced. My ex was arrested but never prosecuted since my daughter did not want to testify. As you may imagine, we have had a very stressful few years. Since the issue was in the newspapers, my children were bothered by classmates comments. I made the decision to move three of the chidlren into private, parochial schools. One of my sons remained in the public school system since he has significant special needs. Here is my issue, my sons all struggle academically and were retained one year - so they are older than their classmates. They are all very good athletes and my two sons in the private schools have played basketball with their classes for a number of years. It is one area where they feel at home and achieve success easily. Now that they are getting a bit older,I am having a problem with the league their teams participate in. They are too old (by a few months) to play with their classmates. I have been told that an exception can not be made. My youngest can play if he wants to join the next higher grade's team. (Not agreeable to him - of course, he wants to be with his peers) My oldest son has been told he cannot participate at all this season. The younger one has taken my divorce very hard and is being treated for depression. I have gone through the proper channels (through the school principal) to protest their exclusion. I am planning my next step. I have drafted a letter to the league administrator. I now am employed as an adoption social worker (a career change after the children arrived). I am appalled at the arbritrary and capricious treatment of this issue, from both a personal and professional perspective. I should also mention that based on my personal observations at past games, there are no exclusions for size within age groups from this same league. Both of my sons have played teams where some of the other teams' players were significantly taller than the other players. I was not sure if I would pursue this further until last night when my youngest son said, "My life is over, I cannot play basketball!" I am going to call his therapist to let her know about this. I have never utilized an online discussion forum, so I apologize if I am a little wordy or rambling. I would just love to know if anyone has encountered such a situation or has thoughts about the issue. Basketball is just a game, but for my children it also means acceptance, feeling part of a team and all good things. I am perfectly willing to make some noise about this with the powers that be, but I am not sure if it would do more harm. Thanks for any advice or comments.
,and three sons,2,3,and 4 (now 13, 14 and 15). Six years ago my daughter disclosed that my ex had been sexually assaulting her. We separated immediately and later divorced. My ex was arrested but never prosecuted since my daughter did not want to testify. As you may imagine, we have had a very stressful few years. Since the issue was in the newspapers, my children were bothered by classmates comments. I made the decision to move three of the chidlren into private, parochial schools. One of my sons remained in the public school system since he has significant special needs. Here is my issue, my sons all struggle academically and were retained one year - so they are older than their classmates. They are all very good athletes and my two sons in the private schools have played basketball with their classes for a number of years. It is one area where they feel at home and achieve success easily. Now that they are getting a bit older,I am having a problem with the league their teams participate in. They are too old (by a few months) to play with their classmates. I have been told that an exception can not be made. My youngest can play if he wants to join the next higher grade's team. (Not agreeable to him - of course, he wants to be with his peers) My oldest son has been told he cannot participate at all this season. The younger one has taken my divorce very hard and is being treated for depression. I have gone through the proper channels (through the school principal) to protest their exclusion. I am planning my next step. I have drafted a letter to the league administrator. I now am employed as an adoption social worker (a career change after the children arrived). I am appalled at the arbritrary and capricious treatment of this issue, from both a personal and professional perspective. I should also mention that based on my personal observations at past games, there are no exclusions for size within age groups from this same league. Both of my sons have played teams where some of the other teams' players were significantly taller than the other players. I was not sure if I would pursue this further until last night when my youngest son said, "My life is over, I cannot play basketball!" I am going to call his therapist to let her know about this. I have never utilized an online discussion forum, so I apologize if I am a little wordy or rambling. I would just love to know if anyone has encountered such a situation or has thoughts about the issue. Basketball is just a game, but for my children it also means acceptance, feeling part of a team and all good things. I am perfectly willing to make some noise about this with the powers that be, but I am not sure if it would do more harm. Thanks for any advice or comments.
