I have concerns about my 11 year-old daughter and RAD. She does not have all the symptoms, but she does have many. We adopted her and her half brothers when she was 4, and the boys were 2 years old and 7 months old. She is driving me crazy! We have been through at least three therapists, family therapy and family counseling spanning about 6 years. My husband and I are on the verge of living separately just in order to maintain my sanity and give the boys a chance. I was relieved to hear about RAD, because it seems that many people have gone through what we go through. Some examples...My daughter targets me primarily not my husband. She steals and lies several times a day. She can look you right in the eye and lie--it's unbelievable. She hurts people with no remorse. These are mainly little sneaky things like slaps and pinches, but I feel it will escalate. She will push her brothers when no one sees (my husband and I did witness this a few times without her knowing we were there) and then loudly ask them what happened. Of course there are food issues, and poor peer relationships, etc. She seems to have no empathy and no conscience and she has acted very sexually since the age of four. Sad to say, but the most frustrating part for me has been that all anyone has seen of her is a sweet, polite, helpful girl. She has manipulated her teachers, counselors, and has drastically damaged my relationships with my own mother and brother which causes me more pain than I can say. No one believes that this "sweet" kid could ever be capable of the things we say. She also went into school and told the nurse that I tried to choke her! I have become so unhappy that I am in counseling myself, am considering going on antidepresssants and was almost suicidal after the "choking" story. The truth is, I am exhausted and just can deal with this no longer. I'm so tired of the counseling and calls from the school and the pathological lies. My husband and I have not found anyone with real experience with adopted children, much less RAD. Most of our counselors have seemed more like cheerleaders and our counseling has gotten us nowhere. My sadness and anger is starting to really affect the other two children and I know that this living situation is not good for any of us. So, I ask, how do we all survive until she is old enough to be out on her own?

