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        <title>Grief &amp; Loss</title>
        <link>http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/forums/8</link>
        <description>
        <![CDATA[ Issues of grief and loss can be a part of adoption, both parents and children. ]]>
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		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[ 7 yrs old son just lost his best friend ]]></title>
			<link>http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1979/t/7-yrs-old-son-just-lost-his-best-friend.html</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ My 7 yrs old son just lost his best friend when he died in school bus accident. My son was also in the same bus but perhaps was more lucky so escaped unhurt.
The incident occurred three months back, I am noticing a significant change in his attitude and interest in the study. Would it last long and should I take it
as a psychological problem? I am worried about his development, study and career. ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (shubh)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1979</guid>
			<pubDate>Tue, 14 Jul 2009 03:20:09 GMT</pubDate>
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		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[ 5yo grief help please! ]]></title>
			<link>http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1495/t/5yo-grief-help-please-.html</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ I need some help in preparing our 5yo foster daughter for the grief that she will undoubtedly feel. We are gearing up to adopt her. She is currently still seeing her bmom. We are very open and supportive of their relationship as it is currently (supervised etc) HOwever we have no desire for child to be connected after adoption is complete as mom is very inappropriate (prostitute and drug addict). We know she will need to grieve. How do we tell her that we are now her mommy and daddy (she is... ]]></description>

			<!-- optional elements -->
			<author>feeds@yuku.com (fanny72)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1495</guid>
			<pubDate>Fri, 23 Mar 2007 14:23:56 GMT</pubDate>
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		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[ death of her best friend's dad ]]></title>
			<link>http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1496/t/death-of-her-best-friend-s-dad.html</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ My daughter's best friend from the orphanage is now experiencing a whole new level of grief. The girl only knew her adoptive dad for 2 and a half years, and today he died. The holidays will forever have a different meaning for her.<br><br>My daughter is grieving for her friend. It's all so difficult to sink in because it came so suddenly, and because we live so far away. Well we are going to make it a point to make the long trip to attend the viewing. These are close friends of ours and the... ]]></description>

			<!-- optional elements -->
			<author>feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d))</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1496</guid>
			<pubDate>Thu, 28 Dec 2006 19:45:08 GMT</pubDate>
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		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[ Dead Beat Birth Mother Contact ]]></title>
			<link>http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1497/t/Dead-Beat-Birth-Mother-Contact.html</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ We have two adopted children that are siblings that we adopted in 2001. At the time of the adoption my daughter was nine and my son was five. The county pushed for birth family contact with the grandmother. That is a wonderful relationship but just recently last December of 2005 we initiated contact with the birth mother. It was a lovely reunion where we met on neutral territory. Both children were taken away from her due to drug abuse and neglect. My husband and I decided on this meeting... ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d))</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1497</guid>
			<pubDate>Mon, 29 May 2006 19:57:57 GMT</pubDate>
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		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[ How to help my girls with feelings of grief &amp; betrayal? ]]></title>
			<link>http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1498/t/How-to-help-my-girls-with-feelings-of-grief-amp-betrayal-.html</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ I adopted the older two of a sibiling group of 4 little girls. After 3 years of wonderful visitation, the other mom is stopping my girls from seeing their younger sisters. 1 1/2 years separate each of the girls. The other mom is trying for complete assimilation. She has taken away her girls photoalbums and even though they are 8 and 9 she has changed their first names (made it a little awkward for my girls at first as they have to call their sisters by their new names). We had twice yearly... ]]></description>

			<!-- optional elements -->
			<author>feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d))</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1498</guid>
			<pubDate>Thu, 02 Feb 2006 08:05:04 GMT</pubDate>
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		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[ launching into the world ]]></title>
			<link>http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1499/t/launching-into-the-world.html</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ I would be very interested in any thoughts from parents who adopted sibling groups who were older when they came into your family. Has anyone adopted children from other countries when they were over the age of 10? How did they make their way into the adult world? At what age did they make their way? Into what strata of society did they make their way?<br>My children grew up in a very different world than the one they were adopted into. My eldest appears to be choosing to go back and live in... ]]></description>

			<!-- optional elements -->
			<author>feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d))</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1499</guid>
			<pubDate>Fri, 27 Jan 2006 06:07:51 GMT</pubDate>
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		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[ Looking for suggestions ]]></title>
			<link>http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1501/t/Looking-for-suggestions.html</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ ... on how to let my 6yo foster daughter &quot;let out&quot; her grief over her goodbye visit this Friday. I saw her briefly tear up when the therapist told her about the visit today and then nearly instantly shut it off. No actual tears have fallen. I want her to feel safe enough to express herself. Any thoughts??? ]]></description>

			<!-- optional elements -->
			<author>feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d))</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1501</guid>
			<pubDate>Wed, 05 Oct 2005 17:19:08 GMT</pubDate>
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		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[ name order ]]></title>
			<link>http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1502/t/name-order.html</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ my 11 year old daughter-to-be has recently started adding my family name to her name, on her homework. We don't even live together yet so this is an honor.<br><br>Only problem is, she writes it <br><br>first name, adopted family name, birth family name<br><br>I want it <br><br>first name, birth family name, adopted family name<br><br>I wonder if this is going to require some grief processing on her part?<br><br>Comments? Any storybooks leap to mind? ]]></description>

			<!-- optional elements -->
			<author>feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d))</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1502</guid>
			<pubDate>Thu, 22 Sep 2005 18:59:16 GMT</pubDate>
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		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[ Grief, Guilt and the &quot;Paradigm Shift&quot; ]]></title>
			<link>http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1504/t/Grief-Guilt-and-the-quot-Paradigm-Shift-quot-.html</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ As a professional provider working behaviorally with foster and adopted children with a variety of serious mental health diagnoses, I'm also in the position of supporting grief-stricken parents -- parents grieving the loss of the child they'd dreamed of, the child they thought they knew, the child they asked for, and so forth. I can't count the number of times I've heard PTSD come out of the mouth of a parent who just can't get over the fact that, &quot;This is not what I signed up for!&quot;... ]]></description>

			<!-- optional elements -->
			<author>feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d))</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1504</guid>
			<pubDate>Mon, 08 Aug 2005 15:05:27 GMT</pubDate>
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		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[ Surgery ]]></title>
			<link>http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1507/t/Surgery.html</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ I know I posted somewhere that my daughter was going to have surgery on her hand. Well today was the day, and so far so good. We go monday to see if the skin graft is not being rejected. ]]></description>

			<!-- optional elements -->
			<author>feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d))</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1507</guid>
			<pubDate>Fri, 10 Jun 2005 11:04:21 GMT</pubDate>
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		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[ grieving ]]></title>
			<link>http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1506/t/grieving.html</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ Recently our daughter has been upset because when she left Russia, she was not able to say &quot;goodbye&quot; to her birthmom.<br>She does not really remember her -- she was removed from her home at about age 4 because of neglect from the birthmom. How can I appropriately help her grieve for someone she never knew? So far, I have told her that sometimes we feel sad over a loss, and have to get the sadness out (crying), before we can move forward more easily into a new life (in her case - her... ]]></description>

			<!-- optional elements -->
			<author>feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d))</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1506</guid>
			<pubDate>Mon, 22 Nov 2004 19:26:51 GMT</pubDate>
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		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[ Need Advice on Grief in Preschoolers ]]></title>
			<link>http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1505/t/Need-Advice-on-Grief-in-Preschoolers.html</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ I need wise counsel. I'm a single man who has just adopted two preschoolers. They have been in DSS's care virtually all of their short lives. The foster mother did very little with them, so while they don't have a strikingly negative past, they don't have a very positive one either. Both are very bright children but also quite delayed because they've been exposed to very little live language, books, ideas, positive experiences, etc.<br><br>Things have been going well so far. The three year... ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d))</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1505</guid>
			<pubDate>Thu, 08 Jul 2004 10:38:05 GMT</pubDate>
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		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[ DEALING WITH GRIEF AND EMOTIONS ]]></title>
			<link>http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1503/t/DEALING-WITH-GRIEF-AND-EMOTIONS.html</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ I am very encouraged by what I perceive to be vast improvements in my 12-year-old daughter's ability to handle emotions and homesickness related to the life and relatives she left behind in Russia. Last night she was very sulky, left me a note that said &quot;you doesn't understand me&quot; and refused to sleep in her bed -- preferring the floor instead. One-half hour later, when I went in to cover her with a blanket, she got up, said she was very sorry, gave me a kiss and went to bed. This... ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (Unregistered(d))</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1503</guid>
			<pubDate>Fri, 09 Nov 2001 08:18:07 GMT</pubDate>
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		</item>
		<item>
			<title><![CDATA[ Our children's grief ]]></title>
			<link>http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1500/t/Our-children-s-grief.html</link>
			<description><![CDATA[ What types of things do your children grieve about? How do you help them grieve? What impact does their grieving have on you? What questions do you have about grief in children?<br><br>How does this topic impact all of you?<div class='signature'>Susan Ward, mama to Hannah<br>Owner, <a href="http://www.hannahandhermama.com">Older Child Adoption Online Magazine</a></div> ]]></description>

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			<author>feeds@yuku.com (susanmward)</author>
			<guid isPermaLink="true">http://olderchildadoption.yuku.com/topic/1500</guid>
			<pubDate>Thu, 25 Oct 2001 10:30:41 GMT</pubDate>
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